2005-12-21 - 12:16 a.m.
Hey peeps!!! Well, there are two more days offically before we go and get Daniel from the airport :D I am not sure how I feel about it to be honest... I am half way thinking that this is going to be so hard for me (well really it is going to be) but then I am half way thinking that this is going to be great for Tyler (which it is going to be)... Hmmmm... How to explain it all... Well, I have not talked to Daniel in like forever besides a little messgage here or there and it is making it easier to tell myself that I am really stupid for thinking that I mean anything to him more then a fall back person (which sometimes I know better)...
I really can't explain it all that good but I know now that things are going to be so much more difficult :( The thing is that none of the family knows anything about how I feel and what is going on with all of this... which means I am going to have to be a wife and try to deal with this whole Daniel thing all at the same time... His mother is going to be here :( Omg, that is going to make it so much harder for me... How am I going to deal with all of that... I am not even sure when they are going to get here, which is worse cause then what am I going to have to deal with when it all comes down to it... This is going to be the hardest time of my life I think cause I will not betray whatever feelings I have and that is going to be so hard :( Now, I am going to have to divide my time between Daniel and Randy's parents being here... OMG... I can only hope they are pulling one of thier little games again and that they are saying they are going to come and then never show up... they tend to be flaky and change their minds a lot... so that is what I am hoping for... well either way it goes Daniel is coming and that is my main focus.... and will be no matter what... everyone else will just have to deal with it... right????
Okay, time for me to head to the bed and try to worry about this all tomorrow... who knows they may call back and tell us they changed their minds... I guess I will wait up for Daniel for a bit and if he does no come online then I am going to head to bed. I have a lot to do in the next few days...
Nighterz
~Velvet Tearz~
What I am listening too or watching at the moment...Highwayman by Willie Nelson