2006-02-11 - 12:07 a.m.
Hey peeps,
Yes, I took another vacation... Things just seemed to be piling up on me... I had to get over some very bad feelings and I had a lot going on at school and alot more going on at home... and tons of feelings a emotions I was trying to deal with inside of me... not to mention trying to figure out who I was without Daniel... seeing as he was the one who showed me who I was in the first place...
To me it was almost like a time of self discovery.... I have always thought Daniel showed me who I was but really he only showed me a glimmer and brought out the best in me... it was not him that showed me who I was... he just took away the fear because I thought I loved him and he would make everything right... hahaha... I guess I had such a hard time before him with guys that he was the first guy who I thought had treated me decently and I will say this when we were together he did... he treated me like I was his world... so for him giving me freedom I say thank you... and for Brenda showing me the truth of the lie I have been living for the last 6 years I say thank you... a huge THANK YOU... I really think it is her who has shown me this freedom and helped me find myself once again...
And to them both, I really hope things work out for you guys... he loves you he has never denied this, he has only said he loved me too... so Brenda try to understand he was young and I needed him and I really think we needed each other, then he left and we never said our good-bye's and it was something we both needed to do... to be free of the past, to let go.... We might have loved other people and I know he loved you because I also loved Randy as well as loving Daniel... it is not so hard to love someone and hold onto someone you have not been able to let go of because you never said your good-bye's...
Well, we said our good-bye's now and we are both moving on with our futures... and I for one am greatful for the end of this long drawn out issue... Brenda if you ever read this... move forward with the two of you and enjoy life together... Daniel has so much to offer... enjoy it... enjoy him and have no worries about feelings him and I may ever have for one another.. because those days are over... I have take time out to see what was before my fave and I really do love Randy... I am glad I made the mistake of marring him... I am glad I ended up with him and not Daniel... Randy asked me out a long time ago when Daniel and I were first starting out... and now to think I am married to him is just amazing... everyone.. no joke everyone though Randy was totaly hot... and he is.. still... OMG... he is so hot... I should post a pic of him... I will tomorrow... anyways... everyone wanted 10 minutes with him in the restroom ... everyone but me... and now I can say he is mine... I got the guy everyone wanted... lol... weird... and he is AWESOME... I guess I never saw it before but he is... he has stood beside me knowing everything he has known all this time... and still loves me to the depths of his heart... how may men would? I know Daniel would not...
I think it took Daniel to free me but Randy has shown me what true love is all about.. he has shown me what commitment is all about... he has shown me forever loves and what that is like... He is devoted, we never fight, we have a great relationship... I am his first and foremost thought... when he wakes up throughout his day... he calls me just to say "I love you"... he does everything to keep me happy and make me feel loved and secure... He is really the one who has shown me love thoughout these years... but I was to blind to see it... but now I am not... I could not ask for a better husband and a better father...
Now on to other things... I found his ticklish spot... for 7 years I have been looking for this spot and have had no lucj and tonight I found it... after 7 years... omg it is a major eye opener... because I now know that I am really paying attention to him and what things make him... it is his balls hehehe... omg how could I have never realized this.... I guess because I was to busy thinking about someone else... but now I know and i will never forget... I only regret it took me 7 years to figure it out :(
Okay, Time for bed... time to snuggle up next to my HUSBAND and show him I love him forever... I hope in my heart of hearts that things work out for Brenda and Daniel... it is time to let the past go andmove on with the future... forgive :D And I have forgiven... I hope Daniel and I can remain friends even though I was hurt and angry in the beginning after finding out i have been lied to all of these years... I still feel like a fool most the time but well... really I have none else to blame but myself... I believed the bullshit...
Good Night All... Time to go snuggle with my hubby and count my blessings :D
~Velvet Tearz~
0 thoughts left so far My mood right now...totally awesome :DWhat I am listening too or watching at the moment...laughter >>>>>