2006-04-07 - 11:44 a.m.
Well, I suppose every hero must fall right? And boy did Randy ever... So, I found out he cheated on me... :( Which I suppose I could have forgiven... but what he did after... was way worse... and that is so much harder to forgive for me...
He slept with one of our nieghbors Angie... in which he told me he would never touch her because she was manly... had I known at the time that he already had... and was lying to me...
He and her were pretty good friends, hung out alot and drank together all the time, she would call him all the time and text him... and I was worried but he assured me nothing was going on and they were only friends... and I believed it... how stupid can one be... then he pushed me into talking to her and hanging out with her... so I did... we hung out, talked everyday, our kids played together... became best friends...
I mean how jacked up is that... The whole time ... I was totally clueless and they played me for a huge fool... And even worse everyone in my whole neighborhood knew about it... All the people I thought were my friends... They all knew :( Man, don't I feel like the dumbie of the century...
This included with every other crappy things that has happened in my life... has totally effected me in the most horrible ways... I don't trust anyone or anything anymore... I just want to stay bottled up in my room away from everyone and everything... Wow talk about a break down... :( but really how can you trust anyone or anything again after that? My friends lied, Randy lied, Angie lied, EVERYONE I thought cared about me lied to me... and noone cared :( LoL...
And people wonder why other people send all their time online... cause atleast online when you are hurt like this most the time you can blame it on time, space, and it is not real life... and most the time that works, right?... but not all the time... cause there have been times peeps online have hurt me... :( But all you have to do is turn off the computer lol or turn off your phone and poof they are gone atleast for a while... till you run into when your life is going its worst... but that is another story for another time... lol... I have tons of them don't worry... lol...
My life if nothing else will ALWAYS be a HUGE mess :( Well, I think now that I am depressed beyond words... I am going to go for a bit...
Crying my Velvet Tears... Mel
1 thoughts left so far My mood right now...Still pretty decent... I guess....What I am listening too or watching at the moment...Still watching feardotcom